Because I couldn’t keep the sparks from flying onto you.
Because the doctors didn’t tell me that I would be out for three months, they said that the injury would only take a few weeks to heal.
Because my parents and I didn’t think that I needed physical therapy until I reinjured it.
Because I remembered October 5, and my nightmares wouldn’t let me forget.
Because I saw it in my nightmares, the game calling to me and telling me that I needed to get back on the field and that my teammates needed me to play, it told me that I would be passing the ball and then sprinting back to defend and suddenly my hamstring would pop and I wouldn’t be able to walk, my teammates would surround me and then call for the trainer and then I would have to see the doctor again.
Because he would tell me that I needed surgery.
Because my head, even now, likes to replay that nightmare every so often.
Because I worried too much about showing my emotions to the people who should’ve been there for me.
Because my teammates told me that I made it harder to do drills when I was trying my best to keep up.
Because they saw me cry and turned a blind eye.
Because my coach didn’t reach out to me until two months too late.
Because only when I went to physical therapy did they tell me that I would be out for most of the season.
Because my teammates didn’t talk to me, they didn’t know what to do, and they acted like I should be able to play.
Because people don’t see what isn’t clearly visible, and my teammates couldn’t see my injury like they could with an ACL being torn.
But you saw that I was hurting, and you were the only one who asked me how I was really doing.
Because you said I could always reach out to you.
Because I had just been told that my coach was too busy to ask how I was doing and I thought that he’d forgotten about me.
Because there was fire, I was on fire, when you texted me and asked how I was doing.
And I said “Not great” because it was true.
Because you told me that it would get better eventually.
Because sparks were exploding from me and you were the only source of water and I was so angry, so, so angry with the world in that moment, that I didn’t think that it could ever get better so I told you that you weren’t helping, that I didn’t believe you, but I didn’t mean it! I didn’t mean to tell you that and I know that it isn’t true because you were the one who was always by my side and I know you still are but it’s crazy how one thing better left unsaid can stick with someone forever.
Because I know I’ll make it up to you and that people make mistakes.
Because the fire has been contained, and I told you how sorry I am.
Because all I can do now is make sure the fire is directed at the source.
Because once a word catches fire in your mind, all I can do is dampen the impact.
--Brielle B., 9th-12th Grade