My Target

I am from a home that demands kindness,

From a “We’ll love you always”

From a “We’ll accept you no matter what”

Although it doesn't always seem that way to me.

I get gifts, I go on trips, and I’m not left out,

But sometimes I feel like I can’t ever catch a break.

It feels like I’m toiling for no reason, for no one to notice the effort I put in.



I'm not good at school or anything really,

But I sense I should be more superior than my sister.

I need to be better than her to feel appreciated by my family.

My sister also struggled in school but they think I'm more accountable.

Which is why I pressure myself to be better than her.

They don’t tell me I need to try harder or be better,

I just feel like they do so much for me,

And I don’t do enough to make them proud of me.

They pressure me by not telling me to do better.



My sister and I have always been each other's biggest rival.

Rivalry is like war

My sister and I are always striving for victory against each other.

Growing up my sister always tried to make our races fair.

She would give me advantages since I am three years younger than her.

But no matter what I did she would always win.

No matter how fast I ran, how fast I cleaned, or how fast I did my homework,

She always won, no matter the challenge.

I thought I would always be behind her,

Always after the first



I think of outside school activities as my only way to be number one,

since I was always second.

My goals are a target and I am a bullet.

I always try to aim for the center of the target.

Whoosh, that was me missing the target.

I always try to accomplish my parents expectations, but also go above and beyond on them

I wish I didn’t feel this way but I can only blame myself.

Be better, Be brighter, Be brave

I tell this to myself because I feel this is what my parents are trying to say to me sometimes.

This is why

I blame myself for feeling this way.

I blame myself for thinking this way,

when no one else thinks like me.

And what happens if I don’t meet their expectations, or the one one’s I put in my head.

Will I still be loved if I don’t meet my own expectations? Will they still be proud of me?


--Lillian R., 9th-12th Grade