I'm From

I’ve never really had any cute baby pictures of myself 
No pink bow and floofy dress 
“Over here over here” 
Trying to get me to smile for a decent picture 
None from my first Christmas 
None capturing everyone’s excitement 
The day I was brought home from the hospital 

Because the first couple years of my time in this world could be told 
From a series of court documents 
A yellow folder on a desk 
A name in the system 
I could fit my entire life in a blue plastic bag 

A lot of where I’m from will always be a mystery to me 
I’d replay the story 
I was told over and over 
Tried to fit the pieces together 
Like my own personal movie 
Sometimes when I had a lot on my mind 
It was almost soothing 

Yet there’s still an important person missing 
From my family tree 
An empty line on my birth certificate where his name should be 
Cuz meth messed up her memory 
She can’t even remember the face that helped to create me 

I remember as a kid, feeling so angry 
Wondering why getting high 
Was more important to her than 
Stepping up and being there for her family 
Wondering how she could take my 2-week old sister in her arms 
Play chicken with the cars as she ran through the street 
Wondering why she couldn’t quit for me 

But, I realize now that she’s just 
A messy human being 
That this is her fighting her demons 
And I pray that I’ll see the day she reigns victorious 

I remember meeting her for the first time 
I went home terrified 
That one day I’ll look in the mirror and see her face looking back at me 
People tell me 
“No, you get to decide who you’re gonna be” 
But there’s still this little voice in my head 
That tells me I won’t be able to outrun my destiny 

But luckily 
My name belongs to another tree 
A tree grown in the late nights of a high school classroom 
While she’s grading 
Grown on the couldesack of our street as we watch the scarlet sky 
Say goodbye to sun 
This is where I’m from 

I’m from early morning breakfasts 
With a side of cartoons 
Dark nights playing ding-dong-ditch 
While the grown-ups deal cards 
I’m from the Friday nights spent on the bleachers under stadium lights 

This tree is pretty amazing 
Always there to support me and keep me up on my feet 
The reason why this year, I’ll be graduating 
I’ve been told I got lucky, and I truly believe that I did 
Because this tree created my new destiny

--Kaylee V., 9th-12th Grade