Dead Ringer

The cold dim air caresses my face 
The sun reveals itself to me for it has never done that before 
Today there was a change in the air, like it was carrying no comfort 
As if a foreboding emotion was taking control of me 
But that is nothing new so why is it worse today? 
You are gone right? Disappeared from thin air without a trace.. 

How do I explain this…… 
This is wasted breath. Let's forget it 

I step into the woven ground as if it was clutching onto me 
Almost as if it was prohibiting me to move forward 
But time’s arrow only marches forward, it cannot wait for me… 

There it was the door that holds my emotions 
And yet its the room that haunts my thoughts 
With the mirror that reveals thousands of burdens that cling to me 

I hate that mirror.. 
I clench onto the counter trying not to bash my anger onto it 
But all I can see is 
You. 

Why does it always come back to you? 
I turn on the cold water drenching my face hoping it would wash you away 
But when I look back up all I see is you. 
Your sculpted jaw, wide nose, and your swollen eyes as though they’ve spoken to death 

The eyes that told me you didn't want me.. 
The eyes that shattered me into pieces 

And yet its the lips is what I despise the most 
They don't even look like yours, but yet they speak as if it was you. 

All I can hear is your laughter of warmth, but yet your ignorant mistakes consumes it 

Who am I? Because my own sanity is falling through my hands like sand 
The thoughts that were tangled started to unravel and surround my neck instead 
The air I gasp for is not for me but instead for you 
for I have become a false face. I am nothing except your puppet even from afar 

A dead ringer is all I am, although some may not agree I can’t help it 
But feel as though I lost myself trying not to become you. 
And everyday I dread every passing moment, hoping I don't become the person I despise…

--Layla V., 9th-12 Grade