February 16, 2009..
Was that the day you decided it was too much?
1… 2… and even 3 was fine, but a fourth was asking too much of you.
You had a partner
You had help
You had support
So why didn't I have you?
Why couldn't you be strong like they are?
When my friends get hurt, they are strong for them.
They are strong when we can't be.
That's what mothers are supposed to be.
You should hold strength for me like a Kangaroo holding it’s Joey.
Yet unlike them, you hold strength for no one
Unlike them, you find strength in drugs
There are mothers who find strength in their children,
Yet the only strength you can muster is the strength to live.
You continue to live yet your not alive
A zombie with no teeth,
A shadow with no body
You call yourself a mom yet you're not even a mother.
A mother wishes their son happy birthday
A mother doesn't wish their son death before they had a chance at life..
But hey, I get it, you had no experience and an addiction to drugs
17 and pregnant with one of four
Not in love and nowhere to go
So what should I inherit?
A struggling life is what you had
A struggling life is what you lived
So a struggle is what you passed on
Did you ever ask yourself, I wonder..
“Did I really try?”
And did you ever think you would really take care of all of us?
Or did you answer “no” the second she was born.
Xe was first, then LyRyn, then Devin, and then me.
By the time you heard my deafening cry you were a Hare moving on.
If he wasn't there to stop you could you have stayed for them?
Is it my fault that my siblings don't have a mother?
Is it my fault that my siblings have a poor struggling father who gave up on being a “Dad” a long time ago?
Is it my fault..
February 16, 2025
16 years later.
I wake up like any day
I would've had breakfast, but like usual I decided against it.
And I realized that it's gonna be another year spent the same.
Endlessly scrolling video after video waiting for nothing
Yet waiting nonetheless, eventually facebook sends me a notification like an expected letter that never came.
They say an image is worth a thousand words, but when your image spoke, all I heard was a Lie.
It was you and your new boyfriend in a picture with the words
“Happy birthday my son. I love you”
Instead of any positive emotion, I felt anger.
Why couldn't you just text me?
Why couldn't you just call me?
You told the world happy birthday to me, but failed to tell me that.
You were supposed to tell me that.
But I don't blame you, you don't really care, you just want it to seem like you do.
For who, I still don't know.
Maybe that new boyfriend..
But why do I care?
No matter how hard I try I can't seem to accept or forgive you.
Yes you gave me life but only because you were convinced.
You were never a good mother
You weren't a Mom
Yet I still can't hate you.
To me you are no mother, just Tiffany Phillips.
A person who decided they couldn't before even trying.
A person who never truly cared.
A person who was supposed to love me.
A person who lied when they couldn't find that love.
So come February 16, 2026 don't bother with your annual “look good” post.
I will be 17, and it does nothing for me or you. Except push you farther into a lie.
Remember, lies can live long lives, so end it before it consumes you
--Linkin A., 9th-12th Grade