Stuck in a Posture (A Golden Shovel Poem)

Fetal Position fills my whole being
It sounds so
confusing but please be open
to the idea, can you
When you left
all I had was me
and that's not enough so
like a baby without it's mother, I closed
up in fetal position and
inhales that if I am a fetus again I'll be with you
again, just like in the beginning where all I saw
was you carrying me
I curl tight, head at
my knees, hands shielding my one
lonely, lost mind. The soul of
a helpless baby screaming and crying for your attention, my
lungs collapsing and throat sore, I loose my voice and all
I can do is plead with time
and curl so compact and low
to the cold tile where you left me that when
I am compressed enough I crush every part of you
that is left
in me so I
will curl in fetal as I was
when I met you in
hopes you'll come back to wipe away my delirious tears
and into fetal I lay to squash that same hope cause you'll
stuck to my should and also on
my mind and also my
whole entire being because I have a never ending list
of why I need you like a dying baby in need of
its dead mother and all
that being said, one of the
problems is that you're not dead and I don't know if that's good
or worse because you simply just left and out of all the things
you could've done, die or only talk through a screen, at least I would've known that
you didn't leave me intentionally and I
would still miss
you but I wouldn't feel as abandoned and
I wouldn't be in fetal position trying to squeeze you
out of me so I don't
have to think about how I still have
the chance to be in your arms but to
have that you must open them, don't even apologize
for closing them cause all I want is for
you to open your arms the
way you did when there was a hole
in me but now you
are the reason there is a hole left
me because you began to heal the wound but when you left me
you ripped the scab of too and now you're
gone. I'm bleeding out all
on the tile and the
wound isn't looking good
To try and stop things
from getting worse I curl into fetal in hopes that
I can cover the hole of the piece you took that
I miss

--Torre O., 9th-12th Grade