Motherhood

I can’t remember NOT wanting to be a mom 
I wanted half a dozen at least 

Time passed, marriage happened, and we agreed 
Children were in the cards just not yet 

A year before our plan 
Baby boy was born 

I’d like to say it was an exciting time, 
But it wasn’t 
It was terrifying 
Everything went through my head 
It’s not time, we’re not ready, what if I screw this up 

Flash forward a decade 
I don’t have half a dozen 
I have two 
One boy, one girl 

Motherhood is everything and nothing I expected 
I expected to laugh, to be tired 
I didn’t expect to cry or worry so much, to truly feel exhausted 

It’s been said, motherhood is the hardest job I’ll ever have but also the most rewarding 

I’ve learned that I can feel two completely different things at once 
I simultaneously feel- 
Pride and Pain 
Joy and Sadness 
Trust and Worry 
Relief and Stress 
Energy and Exhaustion 

Now-would I do it again? 
ABSOLUTELY

-- Mikaela J., Adult