Like a blurry memory
A quick pain hits and I become aware
Cuts all over my arms reminding me of all of my mistakes
It's overwhelming
My heart races
From what I’ve done to myself
I feel
Cold
Tired
Alone
My wrists bled crimson red
It stains the sheets on my bed
As I drift off
I hope to sleep and never wake up
To finally leave a world where every
Mistake makes me feel like a failure
I can’t help but feel like a failure to
The ones I care about the most
As if I'm being a burden to them when I vent my insecurities
But
Yet again the people I care about the most don’t
Care about me
It doesn't bother me in the slightest
In all honesty, why do waste your time on me
A person who keeps making
Mistake
After Mistake
Maybe just to see what wrong thing I do next
My heart races at the realization
That everyone I care about hates me or
They just don’t care
It’s all blurry again
I can’t breathe
I lose it
The pain is too familiar
I feel
Puthitic
Useless
As if in a waste of spice
I hate this
I hate myself
I hate everything about me
So I have decided I’ll leave tonight
As if in a waste of spice
I hate this
I hate myself
I hate everything about me
So I have decided I’ll leave tonight
I’ll leave a place where people don’t care whether I'm alive or dead
I’ll go so I won't drag people with me
I’ll go so people will stop acting as if they care
One step toward a rope
One step
One kick
I’ll go…
--Isabela C., 9th-12th Grade.
Library note:
If you or someone you know has thoughts of suicide please seek help: please call the CA Youth Crisis Line at 1-800-843-5200, 24/7 or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.