When we allow them to be
Irreverent
Back row giggles
Too afraid to laugh out loud
Lest we admit that the friend
We are seeing off
Was irreverent too
Funny but
Preposterous
To pack a room
full of people who
Until moments before
Were unknowingly
Connected
And nominate only
A few to speak
But there are only
so many hours in a day
So we sit
Shoulder-to-shoulder
With strangers and
We laugh and cry
At the absurdity of
Summing up
All of the moments
between someone’s
Arrival and Departure
in a one-hour window
We speak in hushed tones
Though our loved one was
Spirited and gregarious
And too often fail to recognize
The beautiful background noise
Impatient, wriggling toddlers
Cellphone alarms
Candy wrappers and
Crying babies and—
If the departed has
truly been a friend to all—
Chuffing dogs
And tinkling collars
The sounds that remind us
That life pauses for no one
Even as we pause to hold space
And that’s what makes it so
Ordinary and
Sacred
We sing and we pray
A call-and-response
Communion is served
But what we really want
Are the stories
That time He got so angry
He threw the deck of cards
(Draw Four!)
How she made the best
Spaghetti sauce but
the recipe was lost in the fire
(Have we figured out
how much garlic she used yet?)
Did you know they
first met in 3rd grade?
(Let me get the yearbook.)
And those conversations
Are how we keep them
Next to us for the remainder
It is said we do it for closure
But our stories don’t end
When we take our physical leave
We just dog-ear the page
Take off our glasses
And trust those
Who love us
To sing us to sleep
We tell each other -
We will finish the story
We will keep you close
We will take care
Of everything -
It is time to rest.
--Ashley H., Adult