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Where Do I Start?


Where do I start?
            With all that has come my way?
Should I start with
what is on my mind this night…
      my heart,
my self…?
ANGUISH!
 PAIN…
DEEP… HURTFUL… PAIN.
The kind that makes you reflect
            SHOULD I END MY LIFE NOW?
The kind of ANGST that makes you look backwards in time
to when happy moments meant something.
And you try to remember what you might have said or done
through the years
to end this night in a
SORROWING…SADNESS…and EMPTY VOID?
WORDS,
that have been said and stay,
CASCADING through a lifetime
CLINGING to the inner sole like… ANCHORS’ 
Hard as I try to release them
someone always close and loving
DRIVES them DEEPER into my foundation.
As years go…
And generations pass…those words become cement blocks
WEDGED…
Between clichés and old stories…NEVER TO DIE.
            And if I die… they will remain alive,
GRASPING to my coffin…SINKING DEEPER into the
SUFFOCATING dirt.
 I can’t BREATHE…
                        THERE IS NO PEACE in the air…
Only SUFFOCATING WORDS…I guest their right…I am a LOSER.

--Rea A., Adult