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Anchored Love

Feelings aren’t to be dragged along on a string.
A heart isn’t meant to be ‘given back’ in broken pieces.
You didn’t deserve to hold my whole heart.
You didn’t keep it safe. Didn’t nurture it.
You didn’t deserve the love I gave unconditionally.
You can’t pick and choose which feelings you want to deal with one day, v. the
next.

Yet that was the thing with you.
I walked carefully on egg shells.
I knew; There was a fight you weren’t willing to win.
And I never knew which feelings I’d get.
You gave my heart back to those who love me most; those who would go through anything for me.
Yet I must’ve mistrusted you somewhere along the way for you to do so.

The thing was, you gave it back in bits and pieces.
Said it was someone else’s job to fix because you couldn’t.
You weren’t going to.
You didn’t want to.

I don’t know what hurts most.
Conscious decision, or knowing I do deserve more and settled for what I thought I deserved.
Who I thought you were.

Actions proved you wrong, many times that you were unworthy of such a love;
it drowned you.
And I warned you before, that it would, if you didn’t know how to swim.


-- Victoria P., Adult