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Skin & Bones

there was a time
i was just skin & bones

i starved myself
of becoming a butterfly

i was afraid of the lotus
blooming beneath my bones

it all started by feeding my pain
serving it a platter
of emptiness

i terminated loneliness
with the fruits
of unforgiveness

you are what you eat
so instead of becoming
i evaporated into nothingness

locked myself in the bathroom
afraid to leave
nothing can hurt this vacancy

sunk to rock bottom at the depths of the sea
i flushed whatever was left of me

could someone save me
because i thought i was lost

they told me only i could do the saving
so i dipped myself into the holy water

forgive me i cried
if i can hear me
somewhere in there
no where
over there

underneath skin & bones
lies a song unsung
cacophonous melancholia
ballads of a battle not yet won

manifesting cadence
to experience transcendence

an inner voice belonging to
my shadow whispered
a truth so loud
my ears rang until it was finally found

change is necessary
to transform out of darkness

discover the rush
of harmonious calamity

so i tattooed my skin
with this deep-rooted truth
to never be afraid
& embrace the stories of my youth

the needle sank its teeth
to discover the sun within

what had been buried in the mud
were the lessons disguised as sins

i planted the seeds
replenished by impermeable self-love
& diluted the lies
i once believed i was drowning in

ninety-two million miles away
yet my sun never felt so close

my sunbeams radiated my own sky
my stars glittered my own galaxy

my once upon a time imprinted forever
shiny & unsullied
on my skin & bones

--Catriona F., Adult