My Sweet Boy

I was only the age of twelve when I first laid eyes on you
I got lost in those beautiful brown eyes of yours
Then when I heard you speak, I instantly got the butterflies
But when you sang, that was a whole different feeling.
It was a feeling of warmth, safety, and reassurance
A feeling that I couldn't get from anyone else.
I instantly fell in love
I stayed by your side for three beautiful years
Those I will never forget.
I knew I wanted you in my life forever.
My sweet boy
How much I loved you.

But this wasn’t what you wanted anymore
You changed.
You became quiet, shy
Letting others speak for you
The boy I knew became a stranger
I didn't know you anymore
Then anxiety and depression took over your skinny body
I tried to help you in any way that I could
But you didn’t let me.
You kept pushing me away
You didn’t speak until finally
You left.
You left me.
I was devastated.
I cried for days.
My sweet boy, why did you have to leave me?

After a few months I heard from you.
You were happy again.
That made me wonder
Was I the problem?
What did I do wrong?
I guess it was just that you craved new adventures.
Adventures without me.
I’m not mad at you, my sweet boy.
I’m happy that you are no longer falling in that black hole.
I will never resent you for leaving me.
Your health and happiness is what matter the most to me.
Oh my sweet boy, how much I loved you.
And to this day
I still do.

--Adilenne T., Adult