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Lived

I have died, yet I am living
I weep in slumber, yet stay awake to live
I’m not of God’s creation nor the Devil’s
For I gave up on God and refused the Devil

There lays a knife and flower
Lacerate my feelings away or
Sprout through my fears
I've made only one choice

One for being different
Two for being sensitive
Three for being innocent
Now I have solved their problem
I broke down those walls and accepted myself
I found my purpose in society
Some like me but too many hate me
My distinction has made me more resilient
Mom listened to the voices in her head
Dad lost his all his hair and starved himself
Nana dropped dead from a heart attack
He never told me I love you
Everyone never cried this much for me
I guess they didn't care about me until I was dead

Mom accepts me and has never been more proud
Dads disappointed and never got the son he wanted
Nana died ten years later with love and content
He finally told me I love you
Many people couldn't accept me
I guess they couldn't take the time to know me

I am content and in peace
Others are in distress and at war
I don't think, feel, or see but
Others have been cursed to live with it

I made it to my destination
Others are proud and amazed
I feel courage, strength, and pride
Others envy me of my success
I acted and I lost my life
I stopped and I lived my life
I'm dead inside
I'm living outside


-- Chase M., 16